A Mother’s Letter to Her 11-Month-Old: Milestones, Allergies, and First Vacation

A Letter to Millie at Eleven Months

Time moves quickly, and before we know it, your first birthday is just around the corner. This month has brought big changes, both joyful and unsettling, and I want to remember all of it: the tiny victories, the health scares, and the way you keep growing into yourself. Here is a glimpse into month eleven.

A Scary Memory That Still Lingers

Whenever someone asks your age, I instinctively say something younger. It is not because I do not know; it is because I can hardly believe how fast you are changing. As we near your first birthday, I keep thinking back to when you were still in my belly. At the end of my pregnancy, a routine ultrasound was misread. Near the end of my pregnancy, a routine ultrasound was misread, and we were told they could not be sure nothing was wrong. They feared a skeletal issue with your arms and legs. That day stays with me because the fear felt so real. I held my stomach and promised you I would find the best doctors and give you the best life possible. That day was October 10, 2016—just six weeks before you were born. Even so, I still remember how deeply that moment shook me. You did not have a skeletal problem. But I remember that fear vividly, and as this month passed, I felt overwhelming relief seeing how well you are doing now.

Walking, Teething, and a Mischievous Smile

Month eleven has been full of energy and fun. You are moments away from walking, and your baby look has faded. I miss it, but now I see a small child in your photos. Your smile is bright and toothy, and it can light up an entire room. Speaking of teeth, you seem to be cutting them all at once. This is the first time teething has made you truly fussy. Those tiny teeth are adorable, but they are sharp, and you have discovered that biting is an effective way to tell me exactly how unhappy your gums feel. You try to soothe your gums by biting my shoulder while I hold you—or worse, while I nurse you. That is incredibly painful, and I swear you know you should not do it. It is hard to stay mad at you for long.

Allergy Testing and a New Normal

Your doctors suspected multiple food allergies, so we had you tested this month. You used to take blood draws and exams in stride, but this time you were clearly done with the whole experience. This month, you were over it. I want you to be done with doctors and tests. I want you to spend your days playing, eating, and being carefree, not being poked and tested. The allergy testing made your eyes well up with tears, and the look you gave me hurt deeply. Your dad and I hate seeing you in pain, but we remind you that this is how we take care of you. We learned that you are severely allergic to eggs, milk, wheat, and shellfish, and that means we need to be extra careful.

We learned you are severely allergic to eggs, milk, wheat, and shellfish. Your reactions are strong enough that we now carry epi pens in case of anaphylaxis. We will keep following up with your allergist, and there is still hope that you may outgrow some of these allergies. We are following up with an allergist, and there is hope you may outgrow some of these. Your grandmother has severe food allergies, so I know how careful we must be. It will not always be easy, especially as you get older and begin to navigate snacks, parties, and playground treats. Life-threatening allergies are terrifying. Right now I can control your environment, but as you become more independent, we will watch you closely. I wanted cool air, mountain views, and a little change of pace, and you were ready for all of it.

First Family Vacation to Asheville

This month we took you to Asheville, North Carolina, for a fall trip. I wanted to see autumn leaves and feel cool air, and you were ready for anything. Takeoff and landing made you laugh, and even though your ears may have felt strange, you stayed calm and just pointed at them. You think takeoff and landing are hilarious. You preferred the window to my attempts to feed you during takeoff and landing. I tried to feed you during takeoff and landing, but you preferred looking out the window. I always have plans, but you have your own, and you will not change them for me. You were especially interested in the leaves. Watching you experience new things is a joy, even if it is exhausting for us. You discovered leaves on trees and pointed at them constantly. You have always loved animals and nature, and your excitement is impossible to miss. You love nature and animals. Whenever we show you a new animal, your whole body tenses and your fists tighten with glee. You are becoming more independent every day.

Independence and a Growing Personality

You are very independent now. You play by yourself and explore everywhere. Even with all the health concerns this month, your vision is clearly just fine, because you notice every speck of dirt on the floor and point it out as if you are helping me improve my cleaning. You find every speck of dirt on the floor and point at it. I think it is your way of telling me I do not clean enough—but I am trying. You almost always have a toy in hand, and your favorite is often what I jokingly call your sword: the long piece from your play mat that you insist on carrying around. You almost always carry a toy, often what I call your “sword”—the long end piece of your play mat that you tear off and take with you. It feels impossible and wonderful at the same time.

Planning Your First Birthday

I am planning your first birthday party now. I cannot believe you will be one. Still, life with you brings a kind of joy and pride I never knew before. But life with you fills me with joy, love, and pride. I would not want it any other way. I will always love you, protect you, and cheer you on as you keep becoming yourself. I promise to love you—and try not to smother you with all this love and protection.

Love, Mama

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