From Shopping Addiction to a Prized Birkin: A Young Collector’s Luxury Handbag Journey

After a short break, our Closet Confessionals series returns with a candid look at the shopping habits of a young luxury handbag enthusiast. Three years ago, he was caught in the cycle of compulsive spending; now, he is focused on discipline, selectivity, and enjoying the pieces that truly matter to him. Today, he is far more financially disciplined. Along the way, he reflects on what it means to be a young gay man who loves handbags, the joy of collecting, and the complicated reactions that can come with wearing luxury in public.

The Basics

• Age: 24
• Gender Identity: Male
• Location: Saint Louis, MO
• Occupation: Office Administrator
• Industry: Beauty
• Salary: $50,000
• Household Income: $150,000

The Bags

**Are you a PurseForum member?

How many bags do you own? 40

How much is your collection worth? Around $25,000

**How much is your collection worth? ** My Hermès Birkin 35 cm with palladium hardware in Argyle. ** My Hermès Birkin 35 cm with palladium hardware in Argyle.

**What are the most important brands or pieces in your collection? **What are the most important brands or pieces in your collection? The obvious standout is my Birkin, but I also deeply treasure my Louis Vuitton Neverfull GM in monogram canvas.

**What age did you get your first designer bag, and what was it? The Birkin is the clear centerpiece, but my Louis Vuitton Neverfull GM in monogram canvas is equally meaningful to me. I needed a briefcase for work and school, so I chose a Coach briefcase in their monogram canvas.

** I received my first designer item at 19. ** My Neverfull has a very special place in my heart. ** My Neverfull means a great deal to me. When I had enough saved, I went straight to my local Louis Vuitton store. After looking at several options, I chose the Neverfull for its timeless design and versatility. After considering several options, I chose the Neverfull for its timeless shape and versatility. I treasure it because it was the first bag I truly worked for, and I will never part with it because of the memories.

It is special because it was the first bag I truly worked for, and I will always keep it for the memories attached to it. As a man who wears designer handbags, I get very polarizing reactions. As a man who wears designer handbags, I get very mixed reactions. That might be due to the confidence boost I get, or perhaps some mystery I haven’t solved. On the negative side, some people sneer or look down on me because, as a gay man, wearing what they consider feminine pieces can seem “outlandish. At other times, people respond with open disapproval because they see handbags as feminine and my style challenges their expectations. I do what makes me happy.

The Shopping

**How often do you buy new bags? ** I tend to go on binges. There are months when I buy several bags, and then there are long stretches when I do not buy anything at all. It all depends on whether I feel inspired by current trends.

**Which stores do you frequent the most? **Which stores do you frequent the most? I also shop online when I cannot leave the house.

**Do you ever buy second-hand bags? Where do you buy used? Many of my higher-end bags are pre-owned. I often visit The Vault Luxury Resale boutique in Saint Louis for rare pieces, and I also shop on The Real Real website.

**Do you sell old bags to pay for new purchases? **Do you sell old bags to pay for new purchases? I now consider my pieces collector’s items, and it is very hard to part with them.

I tend to think of my pieces as part of a collection, so I am much more attached to them. I work in a very stylish part of Saint Louis, and I constantly see women wearing the latest trends and newest bags. At the beginning of my collecting, I felt like I was keeping up with the Joneses. I work in a very stylish part of Saint Louis, and I am always seeing women in the newest trends and handbags.

**Do you consider your bag purchases investments? Now, I feel much more settled in my own style. Adding a new piece increases overall value and creates new memories. ** Yes, in both emotional and practical ways.

**Who influences your buying decisions? ** The PurseForum and celebrities typically influence my purchases. Money can be spent again, but the experiences behind these bags stay with me.

**Are sales associate relationships instrumental to your shopping? ** The PurseForum and celebrities usually influence me. I have had long-term relationships with SAs at certain stores, and other times I have walked in and purchased without help. I have long-term relationships with some sales associates, and other times I simply walk in and make a purchase on my own. She calls or texts me when new pieces arrive and even pulls items from the floor so I can see them before anyone else.

**Why do you enjoy shopping, beyond just acquiring something new? **Why do you enjoy shopping, beyond just acquiring something new? Certain pieces make me feel a range of emotions, and I love feeding off that energy. Certain pieces spark emotions and ideas, and I love that handbags can feel like art.

**Have you ever felt like you received inferior service at a store or boutique due to your appearance, ethnicity, or gender? **Have you ever felt like you received inferior service at a store or boutique due to your appearance, ethnicity, or gender? It ranges from not being acknowledged to being followed around a store because I do not fit the typical clientele. One specific time, I was returning a bag at a high-end department store. One incident at a high-end department store stood out in particular: I was returning a bag, and the sales associate who had originally sold it to me reacted badly. She snatched the bag from my hand, threw it against the wall, processed the return, and then apologized in the most condescending tone.

The Money

**Who pays for your bags? ** Me and only me. **Do you set aside a budget for your bag purchases?

**Do you set aside a budget for your bag purchases? ** I used to, but now it is more spur-of-the-moment. If I fall in love with something and it feels right, I will buy it.

The Taboo Topics

**Have you ever purchased a counterfeit because you couldn’t afford a designer item? Beyond the legal and ethical issues, counterfeits can support serious harm, and I would never want my money tied to that. Many people do not realize that beyond copyright infringement, counterfeits cause global harm. My husband does not fully understand why I need so many handbags, so I sometimes bring them home quietly and work them into the collection.

**Do you ever hide purchases from your significant other? My husband does not fully understand why I need so many handbags, so sometimes I sneak them into the house when he is not home and blend them into my collection. **What’s the craziest thing you’ve done to afford a bag?

**What’s the craziest thing you’ve done to afford a bag? **Do you think your shopping is ever a problem?

**Do you think your shopping is ever a problem? ** Yes, I have. ** I overcame a serious shopping addiction about three years ago. I was at the mall every single day, spending hundreds or even thousands of dollars. I ended up in debt and did not know how I would pay it back. Luckily, I met my husband around that time, and he gave me great financial advice. Since then, I have become much more disciplined and now only buy what I can comfortably afford while using credit responsibly.

The Rest Of It

**Any other expensive hobbies or passions? ** My husband and I love to travel and try new, eclectic restaurants. Since we live in a larger city, new restaurants open all the time, and we enjoy the food and the overall dining experience.

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